I woke up this morning feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I even tried to get an extra hour of z’s, but to no avail. I realize I really don’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders, just a small portion, and certainly no more than anyone else, and probably much less.
Still all those nagging things woke me up. Many trivial things were running through my mind, like picking up and cleaning house. The more important things that ran through my head were things like coordinating my family’s schedules so everyone is where they need to be when they need to be there. But added to it is the typical mom duty of making sure everyone has finished what needs to be finished before they go where they need to be.
It sounds confusing when I say it out loud, but it probably isn’t as confusing as it sounds. So I got out of bed, got my coffee and sat on the couch to write down everything that was waking me up. Some of the things were as simple as finding the date of an event. Other things I had no control over, but I felt better just acknowledging their existence.
Oddly enough for me, some of the fixations were about cleaning house. I never clean house alone, but my kids’ school and homework really messes up my ability to rely on extra help. Throw in my husband’s weekend overtime and it all boils down to having to clean the house on my own.
That in itself was enough to wake me up. If I don’t clean the house on the weekend, I’ll have to look at it all week and who knows what next weekend will bring. I just have to buckle down and do it myself.
There are added complications too; my kids and my mom are working on two big costume making projects and yesterday the gravity of getting it them done in time for the anime convention really hit me. I now need to be extra diligent in figuring out some times when they can get together and work on these projects besides Sundays.
I was talking to my mom last night, thinking my oldest daughter’s costume just needed to be sewed together, when my mom mentioned the other pieces that needed to be figured out besides the body. There’s the breast plate, the tail, feet and hood needed to complete her Pokémon costume. I already knew my youngest daughter’s costume was complicated as she still has to stitch the dress and cut out and stitch a jacket and vest.
To be quite honest with you, I really don’t want this information in my head. I’ve got other things to worry about besides costumes, but I know at some point I will be required to work on this, possibly by myself while they are at school. I also am coordinating our church youth group’s Living Stations of the Cross. More coordinating, more planning, more fuss.
I know I sound like I’m whining and I am. I don’t mind being busy and there are people who are much busier than I; but it’s not my forte. I’m good at coordinating people’s lives, but I really don’t like it, mostly because it wakes me up on weekend mornings before I wish to be awake. And waking up worrying does not a pleasant awakening make.
Yesterday I went for a walk in the morning and came home all enthused to clean the bathrooms and floors. I decided to blog about how I was enthused about cleaning the bathrooms and floors, so I sat down at the computer. I made the mistake of checking my email first. There was an email from our Mortgage Loan officer about our refinance. So I spent the next two hours reading papers, trying to decipher what our next step would be and printing the information for our files. Needless to say when I was finished I did not feel like cleaning the bathrooms or the floors.
I’m not sure if making the list this morning eased my mind or made it worse. I have things on the list that didn’t wake me up and I hadn’t thought about until I made the list. And as I walk through the house taking care of these duties, I find more things to put on the list. But on the list they will go so thought of it doesn’t wake me up.
All this in the name of sleeping in.
Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. She is committed to writing about the humor amidst the chaos of a family. You can read more of her writing and her daily blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com.